And so we watch movies. Some of these movies are very, very good, and that is why they frighten us. Others are very, very bad, and that is why they fail to frighten us. I could probably go on all damn day about the nature of horror movies, the place of fear in the psyche, etc, (and I probably will in a future posting, as it's something very dear to me) but that's not what this is about. This is about me recommending good scary movies. I'm thinking three, for now, but if I think of any (or if anyone leaves maybe a comment about their preferences) please let me know.
VISCERAL HORROR MOVIE
- John Carpenter's The Thing - 1982
Not only does this movie wholeheartedly embrace paranoia and isolation as it's preferred themes, but it gives us no shortage of loathsome, otherworldly monstrosities; bodies twisted into unbearably alien shapes, whose sole purpose is the destruction of those around them. In the film (in case you haven't heard of it, which you should have by now), a group of men at an Antarctic research station unintentionally welcome into their midst an alien entity which either possesses or replaces some of their number (I personally find the film to be vague on this point, which is definitely a plus) and imitates them, seeming perfectly human and normal right up until the moment the imposter is discovered, at which point terrible, terrible things happen.
The twisted gore and beautifully creepy practical effects lend an atmosphere to this movie which grabs you by the guts and never quite lets go. It's an excellent example of how CGI will never be able to replace good practical effects. Replace the writhing and throbbing of animatronics and stop-motion abominations with the slick stumpiness of digital monsters, and I guarantee you will have weakened the film down to SyFy (god that is a stupid name) Channel Original Movie preposterousness. What's more, despite the importance of the gruesome to the film, it still strives for decent characterization and a profound atmosphere; too many words have been wasted on Saw as is, so suffice it to say that this movie illustrates why that one doesn't work.
GOOFY HORROR MOVIE
-Geungsi Sinsang or "Mr. Vampire" - 1985
A blend of comedy, horror, and martial arts, this chimeric Hong Kong film was the first of a series which grew predictably unwieldy towards the end. The movie is a bit difficult to decipher at some points, as it digs into Chinese folklore quite heavily, but it is still fairly enjoyable without that, as most of the major points which differentiate it from American or English vampire films are mentioned within the dialogue. The film's central characters are the acolytes of a be-unibrowed Taoist priest (who became really the only element of this film to carry over into all of the sequels, and is considered something of a Hong Kong stock character) who have to defend a wealthy family (with requisite beautiful daughter) from the depredations of a vengeful, reanimated grandfather, while simultaneously dealing with a lascivious lady ghost, and the incompetence of the comic relief acolyte. The titular seems to combine at varying points features of both conventional European vampire lore and traditional Chinese "jiang-shi" legendry, which lends a decently unsettling air to the beast, as even if you know the details of either one, you can't be quite sure what it will do next.
The movie has some problems that should be mentioned. Chief among them is probably the comic relief, a central character played by a man named Ricky Hui, who was evidently a popular comedian in Hong Kong at the time. His capering can grow a bit tiresome, but it isn't as bad as some of the adulterations future installments of the series suffered. In addition, this being made in Hong Kong in the '80s, there were precious few regulations regarding animal cruelty: for instance, a rooster is slaughtered and drained of blood on screen, apparently a regular practice for Hong Kong films dealing with the occult. And boy, it isn't a rubber rooster. Rubber roosters don't struggle, and would probably have been more expensive anyway. However, ignoring these issues (one distressingly familiar and one clearly a cultural artifact), it is still the most successful blend of three largely disparate genres which I have ever seen.
SCI-FI HORROR MOVIE (yes i know that the first one was also sci-fi, get off my back)
-Screamers - 1995
Based on a short story from Philip K. Dick (that is to say, the author of both Blade Runner and Total Recall), this particular movie refuses from the start to pull any punches. It concerns a war between two factions, regarding a labor dispute, in which the deciding blow is struck by releasing self-propelled robotic saw-blade thingamajigs into the desert sands of the planet on which the film takes place. I feel that I can't say much more than this without spoiling it, so I'll suffice to say that it has some powerfully chilling moments, is honestly full of surprises, and probably falls between Blade Runner and Total Recall on the quality spectrum. It also stars the dude from Robocop, which may or may not be a plus to you.
I feel like I may be selling this movie short by not describing it better, but as I said, the twists and turns of its plot are simply too excellent to spoil for anyone who hasn't seen it. The less I say, the better, so I suppose I can only recommend that you get out there and grab it from either the failing chain video store nearest you, or preferably, from the weird little mom-and-pop video store. Or I guess Netflix, whatever.
So these are three pretty good movies, in three completely different ways. Again, I could go on all damn day about horror as a genre, but for now I figure I'll shut the fuck up about it. Just remember that this is a month for scary shit, so grab a good thick blanket (to prevent bogeymen), plant your back firmly against a wall (so no-one can sneak up behind you...except I guess a ghost) and watch some movie which claims to make you urinate in your clothes. If it succeeds, well, that's why showers were invented. In which case, I hope the movie you selected wasn't Psycho.
pictures courtesy of wikipedia/wikimedia commons/whatever
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